Maturing in Grace
By studying the life of Christ we can understand ourselves better because He had a perfect human nature, the true, natural Son of God. By grace we are the adopted children of God. When I read St. Thomas’ writing on the Incarnation I understood something profoundly personal about human will.
People today don’t talk a lot about the soul, our intellect and will, but we can’t really understand ourselves without understanding our soul’s powers. St. Thomas explains how we have a sensitive will, an animal appetite based on senses, and a rational will guided by reason, something animals do not have.
Remember this prayer of agony that Christ prayed? “Father, if you will, remove this chalice from me: but yet not my will, but yours be done.” Christ, true man and true God united in the soul of the Son of God, has two wills, a human will that is both sensitive and rational, naturally united to God’s will. When He prayed the first part of the prayer, He showed the sensitive will of His human nature – the very natural desire to avoid pain and suffering. Yet He shows us in the very next thought that His rational will can subject the sensitive appetite and make the reasoned choice to let God’s will prevail. In Christ that is all He could have done since He is God, and His human nature is the fullness of grace.
Now, I know that sounds didactically theological, but this was a flame of truth for a mother who often prays: “Father, if you will, remove these screaming kids from my presence or I am going to chase them out of the kitchen with the vacuum cleaner.” In my prayers, I complain a lot about the pain and suffering I am expected to endure. I do not like it.
So when I feel my motherly sanity threatened, I have learned that because I am human, I can control my fleshly appetite for ease and comfort with my rational, intelligent desire to trust God. I can release my temporary fears and surrender to eternal Goodness. “Father, your will be done.” And, it works! Grace is sufficient, and sometimes we must endure difficulty to mature in grace. Our power of reason will subdue our lesser appetites if we demand it. And the more I think about that, the more I understand how Christ’s prayer in His Agony teaches us how to really exercise true, dignified freedom of choice.
Category: Catholic Free Press, Christology, Doctrine, Featured, Personal, Theology
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Dr. Stacy, thank you very much for this! You just helped me with two things I have been struggling with.
But…my mom used a broom to chase us kids out of the kitchen…
I’m amazed. I’m a Brazilian girl browsing catholic blogs in english. I came across several blogs written by women and each one of them, each one!, is written by a woman with 3 kids or more. Huge, huge families. I know natural methods for contraception are recommended (the ones recommended, better saying) by the Church, but it seems to me that you, American catholic women, don’t use any method at all.
I’m not criticizing and even judging… This is just a comment, because I’m really, really surprised with the number of kids you raise. Nowadays, in Brazil, no woman raises more than 3 kids. It’s quite, quite rare… And most of them are what we call non-practicing catholics – baptized people who, although calling themselves catholics and believing in God, don’t go to mass on Sundays.
Is it the case that those women willing to write a catholic blog are precisely the same women who presents huge families?
What about homeschooling? Most of them also adopted homeschooling. I’m confused…
Hi Ana!
Well, speaking for myself and my friends we view family planning a little differently, more naturally. We plan by marrying a good man. We plan by celebrating the Sacraments. We plan by praying. We plan by practicing virtue.
And we know that children are gifts! Life isn’t always easy, but few things worthwhile are free of hard work.
I think there are a lot of the same women in the U.S. that you refer to, the non-practicing Catholics, but these women with big families you have discovered are probably writing because they are so excited about their faith. They get it!
Ana, I GET IT! I wasn’t always Catholic, but once I understood the Church’s teaching on love, marriage and children — I promise you, every day felt like Christmas Day. It is wonderful.
I do plan to homeschool next year. We did before, then tried something else, now we are going back to it.
Stick around, Ana! I’d like to know more about you and where you live.
Nice to *meet* you.
I think you’re going to become some kind of wonder woman to me! I’m impressed. A big family, in the pursuit of a second PhD, and also writing a blog! Congrats! A big fan!
In my case, I always took catholicism for granted, but I’m trying to be a better catholic and reading about some principles of our faith! It’s very beautiful to see so many new catholics in USA. Right now, I’m reading Urs von Balthasar’s book about redemption and also Giussani’s The religion sense (this one in portuguese, my mother language).
I live in Brazil , where families aren’t that big anymore.
I’m glad I found out your blog!
Hi Ana, the best blog post I’ve ever read on that subject is this one: I Don’t Have a Large Family Because NFP Failed. I hope it helps you understand!
This is a good one too (the author has 9 kids!): NFP, Providentialism, and Future-You
Thanks JoAnna.
Ana, check out Little Catholic Bubble too, and JoAnna’s blog.
http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/
Also, we have a website just for young adult Catholics: http://www.ignitumtoday.com/
All kinds of young people fired up about their faith and reading some similar material as you.
I’m so glad you found this blog too. You made my day! Keep asking questions, it’s a life long journey and it’s GREAT!
Ana,
I consider myself a very devout and practicing Catholic. Not one that I would consider a cafeteria Catholic, who pics and chooses what part of the faith they want to abide by. I am pregnant with my fourth child Granted, this is more than I ever planned to have, I by no means think this is a lot of children.
I do not homeschool for many different personal reasons, but I do send my kids to a Catholic school (our church) and God-willing, will hopefully send them all the way through schooling there.
We do practice NFP, Natural Family Planning. This is the only “planning” method that the church approves of. If you plan to postpone pregnancy with this, it is only acceptable when there is a sufficient reason to avoid or postpone pregnancy. With its emphasis on the necessity of a serious reason to use even the natural methods, the Church is warning against selfishness in family planning.
The bible does say “Be fruitful and multiply..”GN 9:1; “Children are a gift from God and Blessed are those with a full Quiver ” PS 127:3-5
Hope this helps you at all
Hi Ana! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the women who are willing to blog and talk about their faith journeys happen to be the ones who have large families. It is actually not the norm in the US to have such large families although I think we are seeing a turn of the tide and more are willing to discern being open to God’s will in their lives when it comes to children.
I am happy you are rediscovering your faith! The Catholic faith is so very beautiful and offers us such a wonderful way to live our lives. I know that being open to God’s will in my life in all areas has blessed me in so many ways I could have never imgained. My relationship with my husband is stronger, my relationship with my children (all 10 of them!) is stronger, and I see that the plans that God has for me are so much better than anything I could ever plan out myself.
I live in the rural South where not only are big families not the norm but Catholics are not either! It’s hard to stand up for what I believe in when so many look down on me. Still, I have found that when I am faithful to God, He is faithful to me and will get me through any and every trial I am faced with.
Good luck on your journey and maybe one day you’ll start a new trend in Brazil… one where a large family is the norm. And even if you don’t start a trend I pray that you know the blessings that following God’s calling and plans brings to your life!
Like Jay, my mother was a good shot with the broom or towel or whatever she happened to have in her and at the time, even wooden spoons (think she learned that from her own mom or some Catholic Sister). I come from a mid-size Catholic family of only 4 kids, with one miscarrage between me and my younger brother. My mom was a stay-at-home mom but we were all sent to both Catholic and public schools, my father was a sargeant in the Air Force so it was more a money issue on where we were schooled.
As Michelle said, the view of large (three or more) in Catholic families seems to be coming back and for those families I can only say ‘thank you’ for those of us, like myself, have no children, but I am the god-parent too 3, all now married themselves.
Ana, I also follow several of the blogs mentioned above, and have noticed that when a mother with a large family, there is always strong support from the husband, and when they start to get to much on their plate they are not afraid to let something go, I know for a fact Stacy had to do just that. These women put their priorities in proper order; (not sure if it faith and family or family and faith) but they are at the top of the list.
Ana, hope to see you here again, as you asked some good questions.
May God bless all women with fruitful bounty.
Richard
Ana,
We are all like a group of people searching for a treasure in the forest. No matter which direction we come from, the Holy Spirit leads us all in the same way. The Church provides the rules (Commandments), the map (Sacraments), and the nutrition (the Eucharist),for the trip. The closer we follow the rules, use the map, and take the nutrition, the quicker we find the treasure. Now, by our very nature, none of us really want to follow the rules, ESPECIALLY those who grew up in the forest. So most Catholics, in most countries, simply refuse to engage in the hunt.
In reality, no matter what path we choose, the closer we get to the treasure the more similar the paths become. The women you mention, and their husbands, have all converged at the treasure, so they have very similar lives. By the way, one of the great bonuses of finding the prize (Jesus) is discovering that there were many, many more searchers than you realized.
Satan uses the internet for very obvious and sinful purposes, but God also uses it to help people from all over the world find each other. They, in turn, help each other find Him. But here is the key to the whole thing. We must start the search by taming our will to conform to Church teaching, which can be difficult…it’s what you feel now. But by the time we end, staying on the path becomes a pleasure, because once we understand that “He who keeps the universe in order by a thought”, is our FATHER…we do for love what we used to do for obedience.
I am not overly-religious, but I love good advice.
Taking a breath, exhaling and looking at the big picture goes a LONG way when dealing with pain, stress…or annoying family members ^_^
And Ana…a lot of Catholic families up here practice non-RCC-sanctioned birth control. I left the RCC years ago, but I can tell you the “Quiver Full” families were few and far between at my parish. I personally feel that whether you want no kids or twenty, that is a matter between her family, her pastor/relgious leader and her g/God.
If you want to big family, don’t feel pressured by those that do not follow the path you choose.
Stacy needs to write a book.
Thank you all for being so kind and generous! Stacy does an amazing jog writing this blog. Her testimony was the most well-written story of conversion I have ever read. I agree: she should write a book. I’d love to read it.
Thank you Ana and Jeff. I REALLY appreciate the encouragement. I’m glad you checked back Ana. It’s wonderful to meet new people on the internet.
Sorry for the typos…
Typos are fun, Ana. No worries!