NFP and the Key to Happiness
My switch from selfish feminist “have-it-all” career woman to “open-to-life” Catholic homemaker undoubtedly represents an extreme conversion of heart. Like many young women today, I grew up in a culture that told me I was in control of the number of children I would have, and that marriage was whatever I wanted it to be because girls could do anything boys can do, only better.
Since I don’t do anything half-way, when I was lost, I was so lost. By worldly standards, I was successful and should have been happy, but when you live in darkness, no matter how much you try to smile and appear the way you should, you know there is sheer terror to face in quiet moments alone.
Fortunately, in being so lost I was able to see the light more brightly.
I remember the moment my eyes were opened about children and marriage during my conversion to Catholicism. I literally picked the Catechism up off a shelf and read one sentence. “Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves.” Children are gifts, not commodities, not burdens, not schedules – precious, good gifts. My thinking reversed immediately.
Today in discussions about natural family planning (NFP) and Catholic teaching, peoples seem to suggest that being open-to-life is the key to happiness. Just have babies and you’ll be happy! I’ll tell you a secret — that’s not true. Yes, following Church teaching is wise because it is wisdom straight from God, but finding happiness is not like finding the assembly instructions in a box to build a dollhouse. Happiness is not built by inserting slat A into slot B.
While raising a lot of kids does gives me an inexpressibly joyful life — a glimpse of Heaven itself – I’ll be the first to tell you that it is also unimaginably hard. On any day, there is pain, exhaustion, anxiety, fighting, discord, and heartbreak. I’ve spent my time curled up in tears begging for mercy.
Guess what? I survive it with my family — and that’s the beauty.
There never was a time when the salvation of souls did not impose the duty of sufferings. That’s what brings us closer to Christ and infuses us with strength. We lift our eyes trustfully to Heaven and offer these sorrows to Him who will reward us abundantly with graces. The key to happiness was received by Peter, and to find it we must grow in the embrace of the Church and Her Sacraments.
Category: Catholic Free Press, Marriage
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This is great, but what, exactly, does NFP stand for?
Julia,
Natural Family Planning!
Ugh. I just think everyone knows I’ve spent so much time thinking about it. So sorry, my bad.
I edited the article. Thank you!
Last night while I was eating my tacos at a fast food restaurant, a father ordered food to-go and while waiting, his three children sampled the condiment bins. The two older boys managed to stuff into their pockets what they wanted but their sister, about two years old, tiny, and an angel without wings had a problem. She stood in the middle of the floor, was turned awkwardly and intently examining her right jeans pocket. The sugar packet just would not go in! She kept poking the packet into the top of her pocket over and over, but nothing. There were some miscellaneous things sticking out which was probably the problem. So intent, not frustrated, just poking very gently with incredible patience. Giants walked toward her then sidestepped because she was queen of the floor at that moment and she was on a royal mission.
About 3 minutes later I heard a loud “vamos” from her father. She looked up slowly, not at anything, as the command from a familiar voice sunk in. There was a brief second to jam her right foot into the loose sandal, then, from absolute stop to headlong run with nothing in between it was slap, slap, slap, slap, slap out the door towards the car.
I’ll never know if the sugar packet was tossed aside because there was something more interesting going on or if “poking the packet” was the interest all the way home.
God gave us children and these moments but we certainly do pay for them with other moments – what a cheap price.
“Vamos!” Beautiful, thank you Howard. I love that story. So true.
http://www.alternet.org/story/154144/why_patriarchal_men_are_utterly_petrified_of_birth_control_–_and_why_we'll_still_be_fighting_about_it_100_years_from_now?paging=off
Sorry, anonymous, but when I read women going on with that whiny dribble, I’m completely embarrassed for them. How inexpressibly stupid. I’ve had enough of it. It’s women like that who really want to convince the rest of us that we’re dependent sex slaves destined to ape masculinity. Give me a break. I don’t blame you for posting that bit of information anonymously. Progressive? Anything but.
Stacy, your honesty and the way you articulate the challenges of raising a large family probably brings hope to other mothers who are trying to being faithful Catholics, yet find it a struggle. If people tell them that life will be a bed of roses just because you have a large family, they’re doing them a disservice. I’m the oldest of eight and my mother said that, looking back, she didn’t know how she did it. She said that she was like a zombie for years because of sleep depravation, etc. It’s just like “prosperity preachers” who preach that if you go to church you’ll become rich and successful. We all know that giving people false hope only sets them up for failure because when, not if, things become difficult, they may give up and lose faith because it didn’t work out the way they were told. Any time we follow the Lord, we should expect the Cross to come with it, but the good news is, we’re not alone. The help may come from words of encouragement, like your article, or it could come from family, friends, etc, and, of course, we have Jesus and the Blessed Mother to turn to for help and strength. I would think that the Blessed Mother has a special place in her heart for mothers, and I would encourage mothers to pray the Rosary whenever they can. I pray it every day and it gives me a great deal of strength that I wouldn’t otherwise have. Keep up the good work!