Like Obama, I have also evolved on the marriage debate. I suspect a lot of people journeyed a similar path, and even more so, I suspect a lot more people are evolving now. Here’s how I went from not really caring to wide-eyed activism.
“Let’s Be Diverse” Stage: It was cool and sophisticated to hang out with “gay” people, and people made sure others knew they hung out with “gay” people to appear diverse and tolerant. As a single, liberal, non-religious, bicep-pumping, hair-tossing mom and career woman (career woman before mom) I had plenty of “gay” friends. They seemed to love my approval, and well, I loved theirs. Everybody was somebody, especially if you made somebody else look good. “I do what I want, you do what you want, we’ll all just tell each other how wonderful we are!” It was kind of fun. So I frequented trendy night clubs where the free people went. We were crazy and fabulous together!
“Ambivalent” Stage: I realized my priorities were — not right. This whole message in society seemed to be that adults can do whatever they want, that they could follow any desire and frown at anyone who criticized them. It wasn’t about children; but about adults and their desires. At some point a grown-up senses he or she needs to act grown up, however, and demanding your way is childish. There are reasons not to make certain choices. As my priorities changed and I focused more on raising my kids, I still knew “gay” couples and my kids played with their kids. I honestly did not care one squash about “gay rights” or “gay marriage” though. If that’s what they wanted, fine. I was too busy with my own life trying to align my priorities and figure out how to be a responsible parent.
“Leave Me Alone” Stage: As I converted to Catholicism, I began to understand the teaching of the Church regarding Marriage, and how children are gifts who ought to raised by parents committed to loving them unconditionally. I began to notice how the modern cultural message I’d always gulped down was different from the beautiful message of the Church, how women really did not realize the truth of their femininity, nor did men realize the truth of masculinity. Even as I realized the beauty of Marriage, I still didn’t really care if two men or two women wanted to call themselves married. Rather libertarian in my views, I thought perhaps government should just stay out of marriage altogether and leave that personal part of life alone. Once I understood the Sacrament of Marriage, I actually resented that I had to get permission from the state to get married.
“Imposing?” Stage: I discovered social media and began to identify myself as a Catholic wife and mother. Immediately, to my shock, I got called names I’d never been called in all my life, even when I explained my views about government leaving people alone. I got called “misogynist” and “homophobe” and “bigot” and “seeyounexttuesday” and people jumped from the abyss of the internet to tell me how much they despised me. I began to realize that the issue isn’t really so much about two same-sex people having the liberty to live however they want and to call themselves whatever they want, but the issue was far more politically driven and weighty. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to approve and people were going to use the government to impose approval on me and my family, or silence us. Tolerance wasn’t enough. I had flashbacks to the behaviors of people I met in the “Let’s Be Diverse” stage.
Click. Click. Click. Oh yeah!
“I Must Stand” Stage: It is worth noting that even then, I still knew same-sex couples whom I considered friendly acquaintances. They respected my faith and my family, and they knew where I stood; there was trust. However, the hostility and tyrannical behavior of the “gay rights” activists was remarkably disturbing. Not only do they want to silence anyone who doesn’t approve, they want to harm them too. I grew resentful until I realized that anger wasn’t helpful, so I grew attentive and dedicated. I saw the slow creep of social change they pushed for – to make marriage meaningless – and I saw that it was not healthy for society, not good for the future of our children because it isn’t about the children. I saw the lies that a Godless society tells young people in greater clarity than ever before, and I saw how that message is destructive. Then I posted my frustration, and hell broke loose. I realized that I owe it to my children to defend the truth without compromise in my country and my world. Even more, I owe it to God who gave me those children.
Unlike Obama, I’m not going to say my children sat around the dinner table and made me aware of what was going on in my country, so I changed my mind. I’m not going to say I might be personally this but politically that. I’m thinking for myself, and I’m proud to say I evolved and changed my mind because I saw the truth and I love my children. I’m also proud to say I did not evolve because of political pressure from people who fund me and keep me in power.
I am 100% against making marriage meaningless because I’ve seen how when a word can mean anything, it means nothing. We need Marriage to mean something again in this country, and in this world. Satan’s most effective weapon is the destruction of the family. Break families, and you break people and societies for generations.
God. Love. Commitment. Marriage. Sacrifice. Children. Eternity.
Sites That Link to this Post
- Marriage should be earned | Intentious | May 14, 2012
- How my views on gay marriage have evolved... - Christian Forums | May 15, 2012
- One Woman’s Evolution Against Gay Marriage | May 31, 2012
- A different evolution « A FINE MESS!! | June 1, 2012
- Catholic « o3811236 | December 1, 2012