Moral Life Animated (with Stick Figures)
Welcome, Karen Pullano’s scavenger hunters! This is the article Karen read and commented on, and you can read her comments and my response starting at August 2, 1:39pm. As you can see, I directed her to this post, which is the next stop on your scavenger hunt! (To start from the beginning of the scavenger hunt, go here.)
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When we perform an act of faith, hope, or love in God, we are in direct contact with Him, and this is especially true at Mass. God is no longer remote, He is as close to us as any two persons can be because Christ is not only present in the Eucharist, He dwells in us. In our earthly life we don’t see or touch God directly, but when we perform acts of faith, hope, and charity we are as near God as Jesus Christ the Son of God is near the Father and the Holy Spirit. Even in Heaven we will never be closer to God than when we make a sincere act of faith, hope and love.*
Living in fellowship with God is the climax of the Christian life, a life directed towards charity. The Catechism says “that the practice of all the virtues is animated and inspired by charity, which ‘binds everything together in perfect harmony’; it is the form of the virtues; it articulates and orders them among themselves; it is the source and the goal of their Christian practice. Charity upholds and purifies our human ability to love, and raises it to the supernatural perfection of divine love.” (CCC 1827)
For these reasons, my husband and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to make a habit of taking all our young children to Mass with us, an act of charity. We said to God, “We believe, we trust, we hope in you. God we love you above all things. We love our neighbor for your sake, and we will raise these children to do the same.” We figured that faith and hope would allow us to do whatever we needed to do to attend Mass as a family, and that it would be a blessed, climax of our lives each week symbolizing our blessed unity.
Oh you know the feeling, you envision it something like this.
So, each week we spent the three hours it took to get the kids all dressed, loaded into the truck, and driven to our parish. We filed in through the parking lot, and taught the children to quietly bless themselves, kneel and make the Sign of the Cross, locate the readings and hymns, and do all the things they can do to participate. However, even with all our fervent prayers invoking the aid of the saints and angels, even with all our determination and virtuous efforts in faith and hope and love, this is really more like how it looked each week.
Relate?
Now, if you’re parents like us and can relate to the chasm between how you envision Mass with children to be and how it actually is, perhaps a simple image that keeps me focused on the bigger picture will help you too. Sometimes when I’m on the verge of tears, holding my head in shame at the misbehavior of my children – children we really and truly do try our hardest to teach and discipline in love – I ask God to just give me a glimpse, a little spark of light, to lighten my intense distress. I don’t want to let Satan win by focusing on my frustration and anger. I don’t want to be distant from God when I should be the closest, and I don’t want to distract anyone else. So, in an act of sincere faith, hope and charity, I say a little prayer that God will illuminate my vision beyond the immediate chaos in the pew, and that those around us are mercifully spared even noticing we are there (now that’s hope).
And this is what I see first.
I see myself alone at Mass, with everything that disturbs me fallen away. All I have to do is look around and see all the women sitting alone who have told me countless times that they remember when their children were little, when they also once brought them to Mass with their husbands and faced the same frustrations. I remember how so many times after Mass, they tell me, with distant smiles and tears in their eyes, how fond they are of those precious memories. Like everything in this life, it passes. Time passes, and passes, and passes, whether we want it to or not. If I live long enough, one day that may be me sitting alone with my memories in sacred silence before God, thanking Him for the journey of my life, sufferings, joys and all. And not just this life, this life is temporary, but for the life to come when I am hopefully, in faith and love, united with the entire family of God, in communion all together, forever into eternity. That is Mass, resting in unity with the Body of Christ, glimpsing Heaven.
So, this is what I see next.
That’s kind of how I picture the Beatific Vision, and it reminds of something else I read in the Catechism. “The practice of the moral life animated by charity gives to the Christian the spiritual freedom of the children of God…There is the goal; that is why we run: we run toward it, and once we reach it, in it we shall find rest.” (CCC 1828-1829)
The more I’ve learned to focus on the bigger picture, the more I’ve been graced to endure the daily minutia and allowed to understand that moral life on earth is an animated life, a journey towards perfection but never in any instance the culmination of perfection itself. That has made me strong enough to endure things and events I never imagined I could endure because attending Mass regularly has taught me what life is really all about – Christ’s love for me and for you.
*Source: Biblical Morality by Fr. Benedict Ashley, Lecture One: Difficulties in Constructing a Biblical Moral Theology
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- How We Found Our Son – A Mission of Love | Mission Adoption | September 25, 2012
I echo the sentiments of the older women who look at you with nostalgia…we appreciate all the things you do to keep your kids down to a dull roar, but we understand how important it is for you to be there and we’re glad that you are.
To me, little kids spew forth the sounds of life.
A few weeks ago, I worked with a beautiful Catholic family who had to say hello and good bye to thier beloved baby in 89 minutes. The witness of the dear faithful grandparents losing the only child of their only child was profound. The next day I was at Sunday Mass right behind a busy little one.
The tears that I didnt cry the day before all decided to come at once. For some reason I cant really explain, when the healthy baby in front of me babbled, all I could think of was “dying babies dont make sounds like that” and I was profoundly glad that the baby in my midst was making those life-sounds. Something about it helped me process my grief.
I dont know if this glimpse into my griefstricken brain makes any sense but I hope it did.
Tammy, it makes perfect sense. I remember you and the sacrifices you make in my prayers. I don’t know how you do it, but what would those families do without you? Your grief is a gift them, you grieve because you care. I often think about what you are doing in a day and wonder how you are managing it and how you are feeling. For all the grief you experience in caring so much for other families, I pray hard that you receive joy beyond any expectation in return.
Thank you and I appreciate your prayers. I get joy from being allowed to enter onto such sacred ground and know Im making a difference. A cluster of these moms are all going out to dinner to remember one of the baby’s birthdays and I promise you that we will laugh so loud that we will annoy the other people at the Olive Garden.
The mom of the baby who would have been 1 graciously came to the hospital to take photos of the baby who was born 3 weeks ago…is that SO dear? I was so tired and hungry (I spent the night at the hospital) and the grandpa went to get me food…I could go on and on with the amazing stretches of the human spirit and the kindness I see…I wish you could sneak into my head.
Stacy I loved this. But I also want to know that if you’re referring to all of you at Mass here – before you moved – I never at all would have described you and your family at Mass as you did (with the second stick drawing picture). Any times I was there either in the congregation or from the choir loft the kids did quite well. (And I don’t mean sitting with their hands folded……just doing very well for kids).
Hehe, Ruth, then my prayers were answered that we didn’t disturb anyone too much! Perhaps it just seems worse to the parents. I’ll always think of St. George as our home because that’s where these
monkeyskids grew up and that’s where so many people reassured me over and over that kids were welcome in Mass. It made a huge difference, really felt like a family.Absolutely Stacy. That’s what I’ve always told the baptism families – not to worry too much about kids at Mass (within reason of course) because chances are they’re more worried about their kids disturbing others than they need to be.
These drawings are charming! Hope you use more of these. The images tell a great story.
PS: The last picture is my favorite!
Julie,
I am touched that you like my art work! Haha. Thank you so much for leaving the compliments and encouragement.
I find the noise and distractions that children make at Mass to be a disturbing thing, but the most disturbing thing would be a Mass with no children.
Very well said, Leo.
Tracy,
Being that I am from the postWWII generation and remember that time before The Pill when the majority of families were normally 5 or more, I like to see large families in the pews every Sunday. I notice that their kids tend to be the best behaved at Mass. I think “survival” is a great motivator for instilling discipline by the parents. I don’t recall a lot of disturbances back in the early 60′s as my folk’s generation ruled with
Ittle tolerance for nonsense or disobedience. Kids are going to be kids, especially preschoolers and toddlers. When thy get rowdy and noisy you just take them out so as to not make the Mass a penitential rite for the majority of the attendees. We did that with our own and now, when having our small grandchildren go with us we do the same again. At least when you have two of you there. As a previous commenter touched upon, no small children present means a withering and dying Church. Btw, Tracy, I admire the courage, patience and fortitude that you and Jen Fulwiler demonstrate with your efforts here on the blogosphere. God continue to bless and protect you and yours,
Best, Dust
Thank you Dust. Even when my own kids are going bonkers, I totally agree with you that I love to see big families at Mass. It is so encouraging.
Hi, I have commented I think once before. I really like your blog but sometimes your subject matter is way over my head (I think it’s because English is not my first language- at least I hope that’s the case hehehe). But this is wonderful! I so can relate with you and the frustrations we feel in the moment when our children are testing us during mass.
I also did ask God the same ray of hope like you and I saw the same exact thing. Older couples with their thoughts and prayers, but longingly looking at us. It’s difficult to even begin to think that one day that will be me and I know I will be looking at another young family with the same nostalgic eyes.
Nice job with the stick figures
RosieB
Thank you Rosie, and thank you for feedback. I’m amazed at anyone who can speak more than one language, even more to read and write it. How awesome that we both had the same thought about our future and attending Mass alone. It makes me a little sad, but then also happy to think of Heaven.
Wow this post describes our own Sunday struggle so perfectly. What do you say to the argument that the youngest ones don’t need to go because they can’t get much out of it and it keeps the rest of us from truly participating? We usually split up for mass so that we can actually pray and receive and not disturb the peace. I suppose it’s good on one level but always fills me with a sense of defeat on another level. Thanks for the encouragement – we really need to grow in this area as a family!
Karen,
So wonderful to hear from you. I have the PERFECT article for your question from a very good friend of mine. I commented in her comment section too in case anyone wondered about the doctrine from Dr. Ludwig Ott’s book Fundamentals of Catholic Doctrine and the Catechism.
Oh you’ll love this: http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2012/05/i-dont-bring-my-babies-to-mass.html
Thanks for this post. I often feel like that second picture at my church. I remember my Dad once telling me that he couldn’t remember a single church attendance as being THE time and place where he came out a changed man, but taken all together, the weekly attendance at church has most definitely made him a different and better person than he otherwise would have been.
Thanks Stacy – great article and great site – I guess we are FAR from the only one’s dealing with this